Three dictators walk into a bar

A selection of my Twitter bar jokes, which started as a random Arab Spring tweet and became an obsession. 

So Gaddafi, Mubarak and Ben-Ali walk into a bar. After they left, the Muslim Brotherhood won the elections, banned alcohol & closed the bar.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) February 15, 2012

So three lazy stereotypes walk into a bar. You know what they're like.

— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) December 15, 2014

So three post-structuralists walk into a bar. It's impossible to articulate what happened to them individually in one coherent punchline.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) October 3, 2012

So Zizek and Chomsky walk into a bar. Chomsky said the punchline is empirically wrong. Zizek used a Lacanian metaphor about Chomsky's mother
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) July 22, 2013

So three EU commissioners walk into a bar. The punchline is utterly incomprehensible but available in 24 languages.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) October 24, 2013

So three French thinkers walk into a bar. But they refuse to continue the joke because the format represents Anglo-Saxon cultural hegemony.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) May 13, 2014

So a Maronite, a Sunni, a Shiite, a Druze, a Greek Orthodox, a Greek Catholic, An Arm.. oh there's not enough space for a Lebanese bar joke
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) August 4, 2014

@KarlreMarks So everyone is adequately represented in proportion to their population and historico-cultural importance in a bar...
— Tom Wein (@tom_wein) August 5, 2014

So Fairouz walks into a bar. The moon caresses the olive tree.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) August 5, 2014

So Um Kalthoum walks into a bar. Walks into a bar. Walks into a bar. Walks into a baaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) August 5, 2014

Drone walks into a bar, sees another drone, they start talking. 'I work for Amazon now, it pays the bills, I used to be in the military'.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) September 6, 2014

So Marx, Lenin and Trotsky walk into a bar. Marx argues the punchline is inevitable. Lenin has a five-year plan. Trotsky flirts with a woman
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) December 22, 2014

Later, Stalin orders Trotsky removed from the original joke and inserts himself instead. Decrees punchlines are a bourgeois indulgence.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) December 22, 2014

So three post-modernists walk into a bar. There are several competing punchlines that problematize a neat resolution.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) November 7, 2012

So a minimalist walks into a bar.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) November 24, 2012

@karlremarks The Pope, the Ayatollah and the Grand Sheikh walk into a bar, but they can't agree on how best to oppress the lady bartender.
— Laila Lalami (@LailaLalami) December 3, 2012

So three conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Do you think it's a coincidence?
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) May 21, 2012

Three Arab post-colonialists walk into a bar. But then they refuse to continue the joke because it's based on White Man stereotypes.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) April 8, 2012

So a Muslim, a Christian & a Jew walk into a bar. According to new guidelines on religious tolerance, they enjoy a mutually respectful time.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) September 20, 2012

And the barman says 'why are you all dressed this way?' So, three time travellers walk into a bar.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) September 25, 2012

So three moon-landing deniers walk into a bar. But it could have been a secret studio in Texas fitted out to look like it's a bar.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) August 26, 2012

So three Arab commentators walk into a bar. They get funding from the EU and call it 'A Panel Discussion on the Arab Spring.'
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) May 8, 2012

So 3 Spanish players walk into a bar. Alonso passes a beer to Iniesta, who passes it to Silva. Silva passes it back. This may take a while.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) June 28, 2012

So three Jordanians walk into a bar. The king removes the Prime Minister & dissolves the parliament. That's how all stories finish in Jordan
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) October 5, 2012

The Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea and Black Seas walk into a bar looking very sad. The barman looks at them and says: "who died?"
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) November 1, 2012

So three members of the Syrian opposition walk into a bar. But the punch line has been delayed due to internal wrangling. #Syria #SNC
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) November 8, 2012

So three Iranian presidential candidates walk into a bar. We're waiting for the Supreme Leader to issue the punchline.
— Karl Sharro (@KarlreMarks) June 13, 2013

Don't forget to  follow me on Twitter to see upcoming jokes!